On most nights before the boys go to sleep, we have been reading the Little House books for close to a year now. I love the stories of honesty and simplicity, of struggle and triumph, of bravery and tenacity. Here at the farm, we love tapping our maple trees, picking dandelions and Queen Anne’s laceContinue reading “The Long Winter”
Tag Archives: fear
Darkness and Light
My mom sent a photo. It’s hard even to think of my parents as senior citizens, though I am nearly one myself. The image shows participants in a charity race on a bright day, and front and center are my dad and my mom, both reflecting the sun, smiling and looking well…astoundingly so. They areContinue reading “Darkness and Light”
Where We Are: My Medical Cannabis for Autism Update
“I had a great time. Can’t wait until next week.” Well, that was a relief, because the faces he made during the hour-and-fifteen-minute basketball clinic had me believing otherwise. We have come a long way, but we have so far yet to go. Four years ago on this day, I stepped out of character andContinue reading “Where We Are: My Medical Cannabis for Autism Update”
Afterthoughts: A Foster Family
It has been a few years now since my identity has fallen away. It was just a piece of paper, kept in a drawer most days, but it represented so much more than I would ever realize while it tied me to the words written in simple computer-generated letters. We had a family identification number,Continue reading “Afterthoughts: A Foster Family”
Trying to be a Farm Girl
My nine-year-old and a couple of his buddies were loading into our car after baseball practice. Before I had started the engine, he surprised me with what he had to tell his friends: “My mom’s going to play stupid ‘Follaton Wood’.” He neglected to tell his teammates that he has been asking for that songContinue reading “Trying to be a Farm Girl”
Raccoon Vs. Chicken Vs. Me
As far as I could see, the gravel road stretched into the expanse of the dreary midday. The road seemed to lead to nowhere, but I felt as though I knew where I was going. I must have waited at the edge of the road for at least twenty minutes. The wild grasses were soContinue reading “Raccoon Vs. Chicken Vs. Me”
Circus Freaks and an Animal Parade
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I had no idea what to do, so I did nothing. Still, the days passed, and there was another sunrise, a ball of red-orange casting a spell of yellow softness onto the white snow, but only for a short time. The hours pass withContinue reading “Circus Freaks and an Animal Parade”
Open My Eyes; Take Me To My People
It sure is cold outside. She was as sweet a baby as ever I have known, and I was so happy that she was mine. But actually, she wasn’t mine. The first time I took her to the social services office to visit with her mom, I had dressed her in my daughter’s outfit, theContinue reading “Open My Eyes; Take Me To My People”
When the Gates Go Down: So Much I Wish I Could Say
I’m sorry. I understand. I mean I don’t understand, but I think I might know why. Not exactly…maybe… I watch you. I can see you clutching your secrets tightly near your heart as you melt, ever so slowly, as a candle burning to nonexistence, into your grave. I tried walking beside you, leading the way,Continue reading “When the Gates Go Down: So Much I Wish I Could Say”
Laughing
Sometimes, I can see it getting closer, But mostly, it’s really far away. I try hard to keep it from coming back, but I can’t. It’s fierce, lively, bright, sharp, glorious, and terribly sad, all at the same time. Even from a distance, its force brings me to my knees. I try to catch it,Continue reading “Laughing”
