I had a dream that I lost little Gabriel, only he was somehow also Moses. We were at a medical appointment at a hospital. He was with me in the lobby, and then he wasn’t. I heard his little voice cry out, “Mama”, but just once. I looked and looked, but I had lost him.Continue reading “A Piece of Crap”
Tag Archives: trauma
My View from the Back Seat: This Life-Altering Course of Parenting
I would always have someone with me, and I would never be lonely, not ever again. At twenty-four, and I was about to have my first baby. Early Motherhood, though inherently challenging, treated me gently. It had been my deepest wish, to become a mother. With my new mom friends, I passed idle days walkingContinue reading “My View from the Back Seat: This Life-Altering Course of Parenting”
Loss
It’s helpful, necessary, and smart. It’s good practice. Also, it’s terrifying. There’s no more solace to be found in the garden these days. “Put them to work with you,” advise the well-intentioned folks who do not understand my reality of the transformation of a tiny farmer that uses a three-quarter-scale shovel to scoop compost intoContinue reading “Loss”
You Always Did Love the Ocean
It was hard to discern where the brilliant blue sky became the ocean’s choppy waves, where the hope looked more like fear. From his little spot in the Florida sun, my dad sends me things to read: funny and interesting things…things that he has found on the internet or in the newspaper, things that heContinue reading “You Always Did Love the Ocean”
Garbage Mom
Monday had a promising start: the sun shone brightly, and I had a few minutes to spare before I would be meeting my longtime friend, so I stopped at the post office. Two pairs of ladies occupied the lobby in front of me; both sets engaged in separate conversations. The first pair consisted of theContinue reading “Garbage Mom”
A Hero’s Hand
“Don’t let anyone say that it’s just a game…” A friend mentioned that in just a few weeks, it will be time for pitchers and catchers to report to training camp. He didn’t really have to remind me, though, as I have been looking desperately forward to a fresh season since my befallen heroes hungContinue reading “A Hero’s Hand”
Fostering Words: Love Isn’t Enough, But At Least It’s Something
As a fresh spring chicken of a foster parent, I was given by one of my dearest friends a candy-pink shirt with the words, “Love is Not Enough” boldly stated for all to see. This puzzled me just a bit. “Hmm…we’ll see”, I thought to myself, as I wore it with pride. That was aboutContinue reading “Fostering Words: Love Isn’t Enough, But At Least It’s Something”
Snow on the Corn and Other Things that Just Don’t Seem Right
I guess you only get so many chances, at least in this life. Nancy, my favorite chicken, went quietly in the early morning cold of All Soul’s Day. She had never really been the same since she had survived the raccoon attack last winter, though she tried her best to keep up with the othersContinue reading “Snow on the Corn and Other Things that Just Don’t Seem Right”
Still Brave: A Birthday Tribute
It’s the eve of your twelfth birthday. The picture in my head may have been a bit different from what I was expecting, but I should have known a long time ago to stop expecting, because there just doesn’t seem to be much sense in that. I wish you hadn’t told me that you wereContinue reading “Still Brave: A Birthday Tribute”
Afterthoughts: A Foster Family
It has been a few years now since my identity has fallen away. It was just a piece of paper, kept in a drawer most days, but it represented so much more than I would ever realize while it tied me to the words written in simple computer-generated letters. We had a family identification number,Continue reading “Afterthoughts: A Foster Family”
